ZUZU F.C.

QQ— Who coined the phrase “parking the bus?”

If your answer was José Mourinho, give yourself a high-five. Or a cuddle. Extra cuddles if you called him the “special one.” He said that after a match where his Chelsea pulled serious defensive tactics against Liverpool. Back then, the Reds were so close to clinching the Premier League, but they let it slip on an actual slip from legendary skipper Steven Gerrard, allowing Chelsea to score and sit back. And as a Red fan, this will never slip my mind. OK, I’ll stop. 

While parking the bus worked for Mourinho, it didn’t work for the NWSL. The film was brought to you by Nike + Jeff Tremaine. So, let’s break it down and try to find where the…misstep was. And, just because, I’ll do it using as many cringy futebol idioms as I can 🙃

OK! Let’s kick this off with the conceptual idea behind the film. I confess I had a bit of a hard time to boil this down. So, I went to the source—Nike’s YouTube page: “Nothing can stand in the way of our beautiful game.” Hmm. Powerful. Notice, though, that the logic is flawed.   

If they’re parking the bus against NWSL soccer players, “they” can only be another NWSL team because NWSL teams play against, well, NWSL teams. My view is that even as a metaphor, NWSL teams, players, or coaches are practicing boring futebol at least on some level. 

“OK, futebol-creative-nerd. How do you fix it?” 

One way is to keep the idea, but instead of NWSL, we’d talk about, let’s say, team USA playing at the World Cup. That’s a clear scenario of the USA against the WORLD. Other countries can park the bus, and players can roll for 25 meters in excruciating “pain” across the pitch, asking for the doctor, their mother, and the pope just to run the clock for 30 miserable seconds…the USA is here to play beautifully until they score. They do they. We do we. 

Ignoring that for a second, I found myself questioning “Parking the Bus” as a metaphor, also for philosophical reasons. Because “Parking the Bus” isn’t exactly a play style like tiki-taka. It’s a tactic teams deploy depending on how the match is unfolding. Plus, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s boring. Actually, it can be quite thrilling. Ask any Chelsea fan about that match I mentioned earlier if it was boring to see the Blues taking away from Liverpool the chance to win the Premier League after decades. Plus, Chelsea won, scoring 2 goals. That’s exactly why it’s called the beautiful game. 

An awesome piece of advertisement fundamentally has to be simple. Which, in my humble opinion, is different than what happens here. Because saying that parking the bus equals boring is simplistic not simple, showing a lack of understanding of futebol culture.

By now you are starting to see how the idea, although with the right intention, falls apart. It scuffed the shot 😜 It didn’t connect enough 🤪.  

Alright, let’s talk execution. Honestly, it is what it is. Classic Jackass aesthetic, edit, and music choice. The only thing missing is Steve-O attached to the wrecking-Nike-ball, or Johnny Knoxville blindfolded inside the bus trying to get out. 

I’ll have to point out, though, the scenes they used with the NWSL stars were existing footage. Meaning they didn’t shoot those scenes for this spot. And it shows because there are a lot of cuts that we don’t see the player on-screen connecting with the wrecking ball together on the same frame. We see a player then we cut to the wrecking ball. My wild guess? After looking at the wrecking ball footage on edit, they couldn’t match both footages in a real way. They trick us a little to make it work.

Lastly, let’s talk about a choice that creates unnecessary noise in this project. I couldn’t stop thinking about it since I first saw it—Why Jeff Tremaine? Once you pick him, you’re choosing a Jackass gag for the NWSL. If the goooooal 😬 of bringing an A-List director is to boost PR, why not a director that better represents the game, the league, and the fans? The whole thing feels random. When you’re trying to promote a league with an already co-branded spot bringing a name that doesn’t immediately make you go “AHA!! of course, X directed.” It only waters down the message.  

I kept thinking, what’s the strategy? Maybe it’s to go for a nostalgic play for the late 30s and early 40s audience. A visual language they relate to and make them all fuzzy inside. Still, it feels like too much of a niche for an effort that wants to build brand awareness. 

It’s an entertaining film with a flawed concept. It didn’t find the back of the net 😇. 

The sports league space is crowded and still vastly male-dominated, which leaves one wondering if the NWSL stars and professionals deserved more than an expensive half-baked idea. I get it. We’re humans (I see you chatGPT) and there will be days the creative ball won’t find the net 🤢 But just compare the budget and campaigns Nike puts out with futebol male athletes. Still not even close to being a fair fight. Let’s raise the crossbar 🤮 next time. Sorry.